All over the internet and reality, advertising has dominated the whole world. This is a dangerous move towards the war of the nukes if you ask me. Actually, the war of the nukes is already on between the advertisers. It is a matter of time before reading billboards will be considered a capital crime.

Advertising is the art performed by professional criminals, where they attempt to spread rumors about products and services nobody needs, in the hope of ruining our experience online and in reality, as well as taking over our freedom, privacy, gadgets, bank accounts, cars and eventually kill us. This is why governments should come up with anti-advertising defense forces to curb this thing – which happens to be the only thing other than terrorism that threatens a massive massacre in unnumbered countries. You could be part of the target population that advertising seeks to bring down, so it is your obligation to report any instances of advertisements (especially in games) to the nearest police station.

Really, I don’t think I am not the only who is not sure what exactly advertisers seek to find when they advertise.

Advertising #1

The message an advert passes

Advertising gets us chasing things we don’t need
~ A WhatsApp Engineer.

And it does not look like it’s the WhatsApp Engineer that was the first person to realize this. In fact, I have a feeling that he was among the last people to realize that nothing has anything to do with anything good when it comes to advertising as well as their networks. But before anything could be said about these, let me give you what advertising really is.

A typical advertising procedure

It all begins when someone gets and idea of something useless that he could make. Even with the full awareness that the product he’s making is just useless, the person still goes ahead to waste his time (mostly due to lack of a better means to waste it), then gets done with the making and realizes that he actually overestimated the human stupidity… that he originally thought the people were as stupid as himself to overlook the uselessness of his product.

He therefore sees no more desperation than before he made the product that he thought would be a life changer, and therefore let’s desperation take over. Basically, he decides to advertise with the hope that the spam images of flashy girls would attract people to view and maybe even purchase his nylon shoes. His next stop point would be an advertising network, who will ask him for money to let the world know that there’s a new product that no one needs in the market. Therefore, he will take all kinds of loans to make sure the ad gets through.

Once this is done, the advertising network chooses a random location with a random number of people and airs the advert to them. The advert is usually that of a new exotic and impossibly hot girl calling you from the neighbour and seriously needs you for the night. Really, with all these attributes, the best she can do is call a random dude who has a Ferrari in his dreams in a pair of torn shoes in reality? This isn’t ridiculous to me. It’s exponentially ridiculous.

Anyway, out of every billion people the advert reaches, 1.4 people will be amazed by this and will accidentally click on it. Out of every 10 people who click on the advert (which is about the total number of clicks), 0.9 people will be interested enough to buy the nylon shoes thinking the girl from the neighbour will pop out of them on one lonely night.

The result

Here are the statistics: 7 billion people targeted, 2 billion people reached, 6 people clicked on the advert, 1 person actually buys the shoes. $1399 spent, $29 gained. Loss, $1370 plus innumerable hours put into concentration, analysis and basically nothing. Just like I would, please take a minute of your time to have a mirth and laugh at the person to satisfaction.😂. And not to forget, the money came from a loan… so basically I see someone’s house getting auctioned 😭 and worse if the money came from a gambler who would gladly take the damn wife for his 98th nightly slave.

But even when advertising proves to be that useful, people wouldn’t hesitate even for a second to go for it. People still advertise day and night, fighting over the biggest boards as much as they fight for the strategically placed ones, not to forget how they have taken over every website (other than Six Critics) so that no content is available except advertisements. Despite knowing that advertising will not make them any income, developers still place them on their websites and apps anyway, just to make up for their lack of content, and I feel sorry that people could stoop so low trying to fish out the exact thing they want from within myriads of myriads of useless trash placed there to distract people.

Developers know that advertisements annoy their users, so I guess they must be placing them there so as to piss off their users as much as possible so that they stop using their products and let [siht] eventually happen to them, which I suppose was exactly what they were looking for from the very beginning. That’s called the paradox of human reasoning. The human wants the best user experience for his users, but thinks he must annoy them anyway.

When will people ever realize that advertising is a waste of space, time and money alike? It is heart breaking that the big boys that kept their platforms clean of adverts such as Play Store and the likes are now advertising like it’s their only business.

Whoever you are reading this, I make you this promise on behalf of the Six Critics universe, your experience here will not be ruined by advertisement. Coming here wasn’t for the business of seeing that very false message that “your phone has 12 viruses” and that you need to wipe them out, only to he led to subscription services that you don’t need and are more than thirsty for your money. You came here to view summer useful content, and you are not about to get anything less than that. Six Critics should be adapted the universal template for all anti-advertising campaigns 😉…just kidding .

Stay safe, keep away from ads at all costs. Repeat, at all costs.