Author: Major Critic

Search Engine Optimization

Search engine optimisation is a method of creating a false look of a website in order to lure unsuspecting victims into viewing porn on their fathers’ laptops. This is usually done by posting some attractive content, such as candies and human parts obtained from surgery, which, when clicked, gets replaced by a Nigerian air hostess who speak fluent English (nothing is more fishy than this) and is, surprisingly, not talking about how lightning should strike the plane for having passengers who are not constantly shouting the name of Jesus. This would go on for a few seconds before the...

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Zanal Bastard

DISCLAIMER / SPOILER: This post is not racist against aliens or humans of some culture. Maybe it is racist against a certain individual whose identity I prefer my discretion. Zanal Bastard is the name given to an Andromeda-born alien – often dubbed female but is actually of no gender – that God brought upon earth as a form of punishment to accomplish the 297th phase in the eventual fall of mankind. Zanal is an unkind being who usually arrives in the middle of the night with knives to castrate manly goodies to use in preparation of breakfast the following...

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The Perfect World

Generally, the above title, the perfect world, is the phrase given to  an actually nonexistent world depicted in movies by means of optical illusions and open-wide lies that everyone is expected to solely believe within the first 2 seconds of the movie. Often, this world is depicted to have overly intelligent individuals whose lives revolve around corruption and the ability to kill everyone but themselves. Then, and only then, will they find the guy on the wrong and the movie often ends when the good guy is killed and everyone left alive then has to find his own means of...

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The Modern Technology

“Modern technology” is the term referred to the bunch of useless electronics recently invented to make engineers richer as well as to fill up the garbage. This same terminology is also used to refer to the act of female beings scrapping their [boosb] for pumpkin that is supposed to be sexier, apparently. Takes me to a point where “how men address female problems“ isn’t really the issue but how females create these problems and blame men for them. Philosophical sayings aside, modern technology can be summarised in one word: prank. Pointless as they are, the Chinese inventors have an army of 7 billion zombies...

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A Day at Prison

Basic introduction to prison Prison is an underworld dungeon where innocent people are accused of rape and taken there for torture. Victims are usually lured into accepting these accusations by their lawyers who are school dropouts from imaginary schools. These people are in need of money, so they would do anything to sell their victims clients out to the prison monsters who are always hungry for people they want to make sad. Prisoners are usually expected to be immortal by the judges, which is why some of them are given a prison term of 896 years. They later learn...

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