“Modern technology” is the term referred to the bunch of useless electronics recently invented to make engineers richer as well as to fill up the garbage. This same terminology is also used to refer to the act of female beings scrapping their [boosb] for pumpkin that is supposed to be sexier, apparently. Takes me to a point where how men address female problems isn’t really the issue but how females create these problems and blame men for them. Philosophical sayings aside, modern technology can be summarised in one word: prank.

Pointless as they are, the Chinese inventors have an army of 7 billion zombies happily chasing after their products for absolutely no reason. They later realise that the Chinese gadget is a useless piece of crap but they still buy it anyway, because they feel the Chinese market must go up no matter how often their phones turn to grenades and nuclear explosives. All they care is that they have worked hard enough to earn the money they will use to give to the Chinese in exchange of… nothing.

Too far up the topic and you basically must be wondering what technology is, and what it should be, if you’re smart. Well, technology is a phone that can make a phone call, can send a text message and can also explode with a bazillion useless notifications should you put it in the pocket for 0.71 seconds. Technology is the technique of past geniuses to eat away human time so that no one ever beats their IQ. Technology is a man sitting in front of a game console and slowly getting blind. Technology is a woman who sits on her sofa getting pizza deliveries until she dies obese at age 26. Technology is your stupid downfall.

Oh yeah? You’re now asking me why I’m against the very thing I used to compose this article? Because Six Critics is not a soccer match where you watch twenty-two people wasting their time chasing a round object they could easily have got from the grocery store. Six Critics is the reason why the government cannot reveal its evil plans that it’s using technology to repaint your walls overnight with invisible paint that makes you [siht] once every ninety-six months. They are afraid that Six Critics would detect the lie in it and cause an intergalactic revolution. Well, technology as good as it appears is really the reason behind every discomfort of every modern human’s life. Without technology, life would be way way better. Doubt me? Of course you do, but have a look a these scenarios.

Without technology: Hello my love. Do not miss me too much, I will be back in a couple of hours, I’m only going north to get you a gold ring.

With technology: Hey my Mexican online [btich]. I will be coming to Mexico in 26 years, so your [sas] better be ready then. Meanwhile, lemme deal with my little Russian doll on Facebook here.

Of course this isn’t alarming to the rest of the 99.998% of the rest of the human population that doesn’t include you, but I would advise you to remain alarmed. The statistics of unfaithful that are showing look like the onset of the ninth world war.

Money is no longer the root of all evil. Technology is. It is the cause of international lust for people who appear in a very sexually biased manner on multiple screens for the purpose of human torture, often dubbed “adult entertainment.” Technology is the reason why the humans are getting married to tigers and anacondas that they meet in an online dating site. Technology is the reason why impotent men are bearing kids on Twitter. In the very basic form, technology is [bullsiht].

~ Major Critic

But is that it? Is technology supposed to be a prison? Sure thing it’s not supposed to be, but that’s what it is. It reaps a man open from his mouth to his other end and sticks him to his sofa set with a gaming pad in his hands and instructs him never to do anything. If you are still waiting for another zombie apocalypse, then I guess you’re the idiot my mum warned me about. Humans are basically zombies now, enslaved to no other darker power than technology itself.