Jesus! I can’t take a good selfie! How long have I been this ugly?
~Cute person taking selfies.

Machines have  evolved over time. One or two looks at a flat screen television and you’re sure that wasn’t anyone’s idea of the future televisions in the 70s. While the human has been improving his machines, so has he been degrading his brain and himself generally. Man is the master is laziness and luxury. Aside from these, some grade of human beings have managed to get rid of their brains and now rely on the social media to help them make decisions. They can manage this anyway since the decisions are just simple ones: whether to take a selfie or not, whether to take a cool selfie or a horrifying one among others.

Selfies are not in the top list of what I hate most. In fact, I can admit I once tried to take a selfie, a selfie which failed. Or to be more specific, I made it fail because I made it fail because selfies have evolved to be a show of the ultimate incredible stupidity around the whole globe, rather than objects of social photography, and I back up these fact by the following.

Actually, not yet. You do not yet deserve to know that selfies are not the thing to wake up to everyday because you have that feeling that I’m wrong. In a short while, you’ll feel like hanging yourself for even thinking you can have such an idea. For one, very few people can make a correct guess on what a cool selfie is. Or a hot one for that matter. I know you are getting me wrong and I must now do something I should have done right at the beginning. I’m now going to define a selfie.

A selfie is a variation of photograph where the object, person or entity found on the photograph happens to be the one who took the snap himself.

Having done the actual definition, it’s time to look a little into the past of a few minutes ago. When I used the term “the following”, this is what I meant:

1. A great selfie is one which is dangerous

A very dangerous way to take selfies

A “great selfie.”

If you did not get the sarcasm in that title, then I think you should Google where you left your brain. The image above is a depiction of what has become of selfie. People no longer think a smile and saying “cheese” is enough to make a great selfie. And that’s where you go wrong. Have you taken your time to ask yourself a selfie is worth your life? Why would anyone out his or her life at risk for the sake of taking selfie? Is it even worth you breaking a toe and having your health risked? Maybe you answered yes to those two questions and I’m happy to declare that you’re unwell in the brain and therefore need to check out something that could be of help to you… the neurosurgeon from Andromeda.


2. Selfies make people lose their self esteem

That’s so serious. Some of those photogenic people you see smiling into selfies may not as such be what you see. There’s some old photography application that no one remembers any longer. This app is called Photoshop and it might be reason why Justin Beiber looks like a man from photographs. What I mean is, if you can’t take a good selfie, then
you’re either ugly or selfies are just not for you
and I have the tendency to think that you are not as ugly as the selfies bring you out. Naturally, still pictures capture moments that are one unit of time long. This makes it impossible to tell exactly how the person looks unless life took place in 3 units of time. In short, if you can’t take a good selfie, stick to the good old mirror to check out if you’re beautiful. And anyway, you don’t have to look beautiful. Everyone’s idea of a beautiful person is different and that may be what is inflicting you. You may not be beautiful to yourself and be beautiful to the whole world.

3. Selfies go wrong and that… that can seriously embarrass you


Just one example in a million embarrassing selfies.

A very embarrassing selfie

It’s basically self explanatory. When you can’t focus on the current situation for the sake of selfie, then maybe you’re the person who geared me towards writing on this. You make life seem too easy for an average human being, whereas you agree yourself that life is a burden that we cannot do away with and remain alive. So for the sake of your health, property and teeth, say no to selfies. Together, we can kick the selfie spirit out of the universe and promote professional photographers who will give up their wives just to get a “perfect shot” of you.

Selfies fail and you could find that weird ghost face in your selfie right after uploading it onto hour Facebook profile and having had so many people comment on it. This is just a little example… I’m trying to be polite, you know.

For now, don’t be a brainless zombie. You’re way better than that. Google where and how not to take selfies. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to promote Google for pay. I’m using Google because that’s where most people left their brains and will never think anything of their own as long as Google exists. I’m not trying to say you’re such a person, but you’re probably the person you are because of what you saw in a movie or something you found on Google. 😉

Anyway, the moral lesson to learn from this is being smart. Yes, selfies are good and hold the capability to make anyone look girly, but no. They may not be the thing for you. Don’t think they’re good because they’re good on other people. Stay safe, don’t be fooled by Photoshop.