Time goes by many names and definitions. Many have their own indiscriminate theory of time and would not give cent for anything but what they think. Some call it “the master of everything,” others think it is the measure of our very existence, while most think that this is the best commodity to waste. Others yet think they can save the major part of lost humanity, while actually, for most human beings, the useful part of the day is about 12 minutes, which a scientist would represent as 0.8% of the whole day. This research was never conducted, but the research that was conducted revealed more terrifying figures.

If time didn’t exist, we wouldn’t.

~ Scientists

A lot of people would agree, if only they had not their own theory of time.

Time and tide wait for no man.

~ Sailors.

And I think “time” was placed there for the rhyme. Some actually have derived their theories from here and would suppose both time and ride wait for women.

Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.

~ Anonymous

I don’t know if “Anonymous” was the actual name of the person, but I’d really appreciate it if that name was changed to a certain Major Critic.

Theory of time #1

Dead time clock

We blame our lateness on accidents and unforseen events that a certain witchdoctor knew would happen anyway. And witchdoctor would blame demons for being afraid of a bigger force, and bigger force in return would blame himself for making human life such a boring horror movie for his entertainment.

People from all walks of life have theorized time and actually think they should have a way of traveling back and forth in it and consequently become immortal. Little do they know that immortality was just a random thing that Minor Critic incorporated into mythology ancient to the ancient Greek mythology, in an attempt to prove that stupidity is not a fashion for the 21st century, but something that has always been part of humanity, and proven to be one of the survival skills. Time is indeed the master of everything, and I’d assure you that dreams about time travel have always existed, even before Major Critic was timely formed.

It’s simple what I’m driving at.

“How about I catch you later? I’m a little busy now lazing around.”

“Me too! I think we should turn this lazing around thing into a full-fledged business.”

[Quite a great idea there, but] “I just wanna laze around for now. TTYL.”

The human being is supposed to have limited days on earth, while others have created their virtual reality where they will die and somehow still live after death. Supposed I was to criticize those who want to use (or misuse) all their time where trying to build a better turnout for the events of a life they won’t have a consciousness of who they were, and actually go ahead to say something about those who want their the best for their future, while they live on the assumption that they are future proof and live to see to this? Okay, I’m not trying to say planning two minutes ahead is wrong, but neither is not living on plans.

When would the human ever understand that no theory of time will ever be right? And this one inclusive probably. I hypothesise the theory of time that states that no theory of time is correct, for some very obvious reasons. I know this is an awful way to put it, but I think all languages missed a point. And especially the calendar.

The theory that “tomorrow” exists is the exact reason why people blindly live up to tomorrow, pushing each and every possible thing to tomorrow and then push it to the other tomorrow and so on until the cows come home on their own. But cows would be coming home from their hunt for grass and may probably have eaten several snakes and would be happy to eat you and quit being vegetarian. Personally, I’d choose to be zombie and feed on the little left of the brain… Which I’m assured that I’d be satisfied after eating 15,382 grown human brains with no traces left, but then I’d be dead by the time the milestone is reached, killed by critically corrupt police who think the brains would poison me or dirt my shirt.

Point is, time is not your girlfriend, neither your grandpa’s best friend. Time does not discriminate on the basis of education, skin color of gender. Time simply does not notice if you’re the president or the cockroach for whom the scientists are burning their lungs trying to discover toxic substances that would be used to wipe you off the face of the earth. Time will not pause to wait for the mafia or the most invincible living being in the universe. Time is time, and time is time and time does not give a flying [fcuk] about any theory or time, neither does it care about you, but it will still affect you anyway, whether you like it or not.

This is why something is fishy when you plan for things of the far future and remain waiting upon a miracle to fall aground and fix your life. Trust me, even the hopeless man has plans, and the difference is how time is put to use or misuse, and when. No man I know has 357 hours in a day, but I know men who own billions of money in every practical currency and  I also most others who don’t

Theory of time #2

Procrastination

Although a scientist would arrive with his own theory to disapprove mine, I am here to declare that time moves equally for all, poor and, and doesn’t move more equally for the rich than the poor. When dealing with time, there are no bribes or favors. Everyone gets what he deserves, and everyone gets a share… The lion’s share, if he’s a lion, which might seem to have nothing to do with the theory of time, but extremely unimportant when it comes to the explication of this theory of time..

Time is yours, it’s not a shared asset. Don’t you feel good that I decided to write this article with my time? But what were you doing while I was writing? What would be there tomorrow that there isn’t today? If you don’t have the brains today, trust me, you won’t have one. At least not tomorrow. Maybe in the year 30967, that might be possible.